One thing I’ve come to realize in the last year is that my mom did a really good job raising us. She prepared us for the world in ways I didn’t fully understand until recently. A lot of the things I assumed were just “common sense”…actually aren’t common sense to everyone.
She taught me the value and impact of my words and my thoughts. She taught me stewardship. Active listening. Respect. Boundaries. Integrity. Standards. Advocacy. She taught us when to speak and when to stay silent—not as a strict rule, but through discernment. Learning to trust yourself enough to know when your voice matters most, and when silence speaks louder.
When I read books about things like self care, self help, or mindfulness…no discredit to the amazing authors, teachers and professionals…but those concepts are all things that my mom taught us growing up. And when I faced hard times, even challenges she hadn’t personally experienced, she walked with me through them with grace, always bringing me back to those same values.
It took me a long time to fully embrace that foundation—36 years to be exact (fun fact: I’m 36 right now 🙃).
A general takeaway (and it’s really nothing profound): You are a product of your environment. Everything you’ve experienced has shaped you into the person you are today. Your experiences are unique. So it isn’t quite so reasonable to assume that everyone else knows or was taught the same things you were.
And that’s where discernment comes in—understanding that not everyone shares your foundation, and deciding what that means for you. Do you meet them where they are? Do you step back? Do you allow yourself to be open to change?
Meeting someone where they are is hard. Stepping back is hard (sometimes). Being open to change is hard. All of it is hard. But that’s what growth looks like—choosing, again and again, how you want to show up in the world, even when it isn’t easy.
Hey…that sounds familiar. Almost like another one of those lessons my mom taught me. 💜
Tenishia Vanderpool 
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