Tenishia Vanderpool

So. This morning, I’m standing in my kitchen looking at how “messy” it is and how my 10-year-old definitely did not clean the kitchen to “my standards”…when that little voice in the back of my head chimed in:

“But what have you done to teach her otherwise?”

I think I stopped dead in my tracks… and then immediately went looking for somewhere to write that down. Because that doesn’t just apply to kids and cleaning the kitchen.

What have you done to teach them otherwise?

You don’t like the way something is done — but have you actually shown what you prefer? Have you said it out loud? Have you modeled it?

Have you given anyone any reason to know your standard? Or are you just assuming that the people around you should “just know”?

Because most of the time, they don’t know. And that doesn’t make them wrong — it just means we haven’t taught, shared, or communicated what matters to us yet.

Our kids (and honestly… many of the adults in our lives) aren’t mind readers. They learn from what we show, repeat, and reinforce with love — not from the expectations we keep tucked quietly in our heads.

So today I’m asking myself — and you:

Where can we slow down, explain, model, and guide instead of assuming?

Because when we choose awareness, communication, and grace (for ourselves and others), we plant roots that help our relationships grow stronger.

Teach gently. Model patiently. And remember… we are all still learning as we grow.